The Way The World Looks

1. I looked out my window last night and saw a dog chasing a cat, why was that? why do dogs hate cats? here are a few of my 'professinal' reasons--

• They're jealous of the cats' nice fur, the dog tries so hard to get it right day in, day out in front of a full length mirror. and the cat just licks itself and suddenly its THE MOST stylish!
• The dog is mad at the cat for eating tuna, the dog is just given a can of stuff, and they dont know what it is! they want to know what the cat is eating, and why its got better food. so they walk up to the cat and say: "give me your lunch or i'll chase you and eat you!" the cat runs, and the dog, feeling like it still has something to prove thinks: "i need ALL the food, i'll chase after the cat and get the rest!"
• The cat infuriated the dog by saying 'purr' to the dogs owner, the dog mistakenly heard 'rrrrr' like it was gonna attack the owner. the dog chases it out, the cat says: "meeeeooowww!!!" and the dog now thinks the cats in love with it (the dog). the dog excels.

2. Tools, they fix stuff. but why are people so intent on getting them right? "hey should i get the 'Stiil' saw or the 'HARD' saw? they're the same price and the same colour, but which one should i get?" some one else might say: "just pick!" but the guy still wont pick! "if i get both its a waste of money, but if i get none what'll i do about the big slab of wood?" he picks one after an hour of debating, only to have the clerk say: "this was a display model sir, allow me to get you the HARD saw", if he had just picked one, he could've saved a lot of time.

3. i was walking through school today and realised that people ask questions that they dont really want to know the answers to. like: "why'd you dye your hair pink? forget it i dont want to know" or "why do talk like that Joe? forget it its probably cos your a retard" they just say these things so that they can say their grand punchline! i also noticed how many of the teachers are snobs, "why is this late?", "why are you late?", "why did you glue all those pens to fan?" they just do it to unerve me!

4. Pets, they are cute and fluffy. but why do parents say: "you'll have to take care of it" when as soon as you get the kitten, the bird or the puppy they immediatly take over? "i know i said that but i just think that you'd suck at having a pet, this was all a scheme for me to get a dog"

i know its starting off slow now, but i'll ahve more funnies in store soon. trust me, this girl will get you some good comedy!

ps: joe is non-existent, i just used the name for an example. my name is Fun-Fluff.